Enlightened selfishness is the basis of all inspired service to the world. It superficially appears like the most unusual paradox, but when examined reveals an essential truth:

“A man can only give his gift proportionate to how much he is open to receiving the gifts of the universe”

But it’s wrong to be selfish…..right?

One of the greatest misconceptions of modern society is that being selfish is always unfair to others. The road to sainthood is through the path of selfless service to others is what we are taught.

On one level, un-evolved selfishness can definitely upset the harmony in a family.

A man who spends whatever time he wants doing whatever he wants after work regardless of whether or not his clan members have their needs met is not a great leader. Often, wives in such cases are at their limit taking the slack for his laziness and lack of focus.

Be in the Right Category

But if you are reading this you are probably not one that fits into the above category, right?

The selfishness that is needed is one that helps build and maintain the personal momentum of focused inspiration to lead your clan in the face of whatever life hits you with. Assuming the role of clan leader is one of life’s most sacred and important roles so it requires your greatest attention.

Complexity Draws Out Your Best

The complexity of modern life requires a consistent level of optimal performance by any man who aims to lead his family inspiringly to reach its full potential, both individually and collectively.

Any great performer in the world, from any discipline, base their greatest on their preparation. Read about the lives of world leading musicians, sports stars, athletes, spiritual leaders and you will see that they developed their own unique routine that helped wring every last drop of inspiration from their depths. That is why they become known as the greats.

Your Highest Imaginable Example

To lead by your highest imaginable example takes unparalleled commitment to preparation.

You are preparing to play the roles of provider, teacher, spiritual counsellor, personal coach, psychologist, chef, healer, business man, time management expert etc. in your everyday life for your family.

It’s insane to think you can just be your inspirational best as a clan leader by just turning up!

Alignment with your Sacred Power

By preparation I am talking about alignment with your deepest spiritual power. A Zen Clan Leader structures his life completely around his alignment to source energy, God, Buddha nature, life force; whatever the wording your heart resonates with is unimportant.

The aim is to consciously prepare yourself to bring out your inspired best. To inspire one must be in-spirit.

Our greatest power to be of service to our family and humanity is harnessed when we are at our happiest. Indeed our happiness is our greatest gift to our family and the world.

Receive the Universe

To be at our happiest requires dedicated time to conscious receiving of our own deepest needs, the gifts of the universe so to speak: love, optimal health, abundance, joy, peace etc.

To receive these gifts fully, we must align our minds to allow the unhindered flow of them into our reality. If your life is packed with responsibilities for others and little or no time is left for you, this stops flow causing stagnation.

Full flow can only happen when dedicated time has been taken to prepare ourselves to receive. Meditation, yoga, spiritual teachings, relaxation time, prayer are examples of how we as humans use our time to feel inspired and loved.

Hit the Issue at the Root

It has all to do with our perceptions. From our birth until the present moment, we have all formed many beliefs consciously and unconsciously.

The regular presence of frustration, annoyance, stress, anger, boredom and the likes are signs that we have unconscious emotional crap cutting the natural flow of well-being that is ours to enjoy.

Mediocre men just accept persistent negative emotions as an unquestionable part of life; clan leaders absolutely do not.

Stride Towards Your Greatness

Your greatest gift that you can give your wife, children and the world at large is your happiest self. For your family, five minutes in your inspired presence is more enlivening than five hours with an everyday frustrated martyr.

Before you can serve your gift or offering to others you first must be in alignment with your inner values and life purpose. Give yourself the sacred time to structure your life in a way that inspires you letting you serve your best self to those in your world. Practice this enlightened selfishness, and then amaze the world into inspired action!

Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
– Lao Tzu

Spend five minutes watching TV ads and you’ll know what makes us happier. In the eyes of the advertiser, that is. A new car, diamond earrings, a new kitchen, carpets, house, overseas travel – everything that adverts offer us pretends to be a magic pill that will make us happier.

But does it?

Actually, it does.

I remember a time when I was so small that I had to stretch to see over the table. My parents bought me a  pair of shiny red shoes. And I loved them! I loved them so much that I put them under my pillow at night.

I can’t remember what happened next. But I suppose it is what always happens after we get a new toy. Scuff marks appear on the new shoe, or you drive you car into a hedge and get scratches over the gleaming paintwork. You put down a hot pot on the new kitchen bench and can’t get rid of the burn mark. Your new shiny thing ages.

So, yes – buying something new does make you feel happier. But only for a short while. That’s what our consumer society is built upon. Because when the thrill wears off, we need to go shopping again.

The beauty of less

A minimalist embraces the beauty of less, the aesthetic of spareness, a life of contentedness in what we need and what makes us truly happy. ~ Leo Babauta in The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life

I’ve recently been thinking about the difference between the mind of having, and the mind of being. These two are completely different ways to experience life. In a commercial society, everything is for sale, and everything needs to have a benefit.

The focus on benefits is all about having. What we’ve lost sight is that there is also being. If you look at the question below, you’ll see how limited the ‘having’ mindset is:

What is the benefit of being alive?

That questions is absurd, isn’t it? It just doesn’t make sense. Because being alive is – well – about being. And not about having.

In our consumer society, the mind of having is predominant. Our value in society is measured not by how we are, but by what we have. Everything turns into a lifestyle accessory when we look at it from the perspective of ‘having’ – even love or friendship.

One of the ways to escape the trap of having is the way of Minimalism

I’ve recently come across a thought-provoking book by Leo Babauta, called The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life. In it he describes simple ways of escaping consumerism, in order to heighten happiness.

What is a minimalist life?

It is a life, say Leo, “that is stripped of the unnecessary, to make room for that which gives you joy…It’s not a life of nothing, of boringness. It’s a life of richness, in less.”

How to become a minimalist

Leo sets out four steps that help us embrace a life of minimalism:

• Start by realizing you already have
  enough.
• Start cutting back on clutter and
  possessions.
• Start simplifying your schedule.
• Slowly edit everything you do.

By Mary Jaksch

Accept your right to happiness

Accept the fact that there isn’t a perfect person alive. Every human being has made countless mistakes, has broken hearts, broken dreams and their share of regrets. You deserve to be happy as much as anyone else.

Get out of your own head

Your brain is a tool for performing tasks and solving problems, but it can suck you into watching an endless string of re-run movies depicting past disappointments and future fears. You can easily stop yourself from watching the reruns just by being aware of them. That’s it. As long as you’re aware when you’re doing it–you can catch yourself and chose to do other things. So choose to live in the “now,” get off your butt and do stuff. Your reruns are boring by the way. Presence is the key to an inner peace like no other.

Schedule yourself in first and last

Put time on the calendar for what you need to stay positive and renew your soul each day. Own at least two time slots on your own calendar. Make them yours and make them great. Read a couple chapters of your book, exercise, meditate, take an online class, whatever floats your boat. Do it.

Appreciate the time between disasters

Life is full of disasters and blessings. An “attitude of gratitude” is the key to experiencing joy in life. Everyone has countless blessings that we can be grateful for. If you or a loved one has cancer, well let’s be grateful for the life we had and still have. If you’re missing a limb, well someone is missing both. If you’re missing a loved one, well, you were fortunately enough to have known them and loved them eternally. If you are reading this and not born into slavery, well, lucky you. A million people less fortunate than you would give everything to for your troubles compared to theirs. Appreciate what you’ve got–as your life is a beautiful masterpiece of good experiences in between the disasters. Nobody gets out alive… so love the time you have.

Fire your old gatekeeper

When others try to feed you negative crap, well, don’t let them in the gate. Once they start up, as the new gatekeeper will say… “gotta go” or “can’t talk right now.” They’ll move on to some other sucker. Same goes for your eyes and mouth. Don’t watch stuff that brings you down and don’t eat what you know you shouldn’t. It’s really self-care or self-love I’m talking about–but let’s just start out by firing the old gatekeeper and commit to managing the gate better. You can do it.

You deserve this thing called happiness.

Reminder, there are no shortage of impoverished people who want and need nothing more than safety to be happy and there’s no shortage of zillionaires who are miserable.

Newsflash: Happiness can be yours, just accept it.

The brain is a muscle and needs to be exercised just like any other muscle in the body. By keeping your brain in tip-top shape, it can increases your IQ, memory retention and improves overall problem-solving skills. This article describes a few exercises you can do to keep your brain in shape.

Reading

If you don’t come from a language enrich environment, reading a book can help boost your vocabulary deficit. By increasing your vocabulary, you increase your understanding of language in a more general application. When you come across a word you don’t know, pull out that handy dictionary (AKA google it), then use it throughout the day, making it a new part of your speech, and in turn shrink that language deficit.

Eat healthy and exercise

Scientist have proven that broccoli, tomatoes, omega-3, certain berries, green teas and protein in general will boost neurons to produce important neurotransmitters nor-epinephrine and dopamine― which increases mental alertness. Healthy exercise and eating right is not just for your body but important to the mental wellness of your brain.

Positive mind-set

Recent discoveries prove that your mind-set matters on an emotional level but also on a physiological one.

Believing in yourself when a task is hard, will help you cross the finish line and with every finish-line you cross, you’ve learned something new to get you there. (AKA: Clever. Intelligent. Smart.)

Pushing past your comfort zone

To increase brain functions, we need to learn something new that’s out of our current skill set. Is there an instrument you’ve always wanted play but never took the time to learn? Did you want to study a different language? Childhood fun like coloring and puzzles are a great way to keep your brain in shape which helps to expand the brain’s neural networks.

Brain games

There are many great brain game apps on your phone too. You could also take up the daily crossword puzzle, sudoku, play a board game like boggle and scrabble. The key here is to be creative so your brain gets the exercise it needs to stay sharp.

Written by B. Miles

To have successful friendships, I’ve learned one must have certain qualities within themselves and those we seek as friends. Sometimes we don’t find all those qualities in a single person but within a small group. One might tell us to “Grow-a-pair” when we’re feeling sorry for ourselves. Another may offer, “You need a drink. I’m coming over,” when a shoulder to cry on is the only cure. Listed below are a few successful qualities friendships need in order to thrive, take a look.

Lock Down Your Ego

Healthy friendships work because there’s an equal give and take exchange. You must be genuinely happy for your friends accomplishment, not harbor resentment. My “Keeper-Friends” will celebrate my triumphs, encourage those risks, cry with me through failures and believe I can do anything when I have doubts. Cheerleaders can’t be encouraging if they have wounded egos in need of repair.

Be Yourself

True friendships last because we accept people for who they are; a rule we must apply to ourselves. If we act like a different person when we’re with friends, then you’re not really YOU, are you? Fake facades and false realities, fail. If you want to go from playground Jungle Jim’s to porch Rocking Chairs, sipping sweet tea when you’re eighty, you must be yourself, NO EXCEPTIONS. That history together only makes that long journey… sweeter.

No Judgments

This can be tricky sometimes because everyone is raised differently; developing our own distinct moral codes. If you believe people think the same as you do, GAH!― they don’t. And if we judge others, doesn’t that make it our problem, not theirs? I’ve learned just because I don’t approve of something, doesn’t make it wrong. Who am I to judge someone for making different life choices than I do. Once I let my major hang-ups go, my relationships improved dramatically.

Be Flexible

No one can force someone into becoming the perfect friend. Having expectations is another “Me-Problem”. That’s why I have a variety of friends. Some are tough, telling me to put on my big girl panties when I’m whining. Others will cheer me up instantly by sharing their crazy life stories. A few who are great listeners, allowing me to vent when I’ve had a really bad day. They key here is to be flexible and let everyone be themselves. When we do that, it creates a great circle of support, like King Arthur and the Knights of Round Table with the strength of Excalibur by our side. Okay, that might be a little dramatic, but you get my point.

Good friendships can have a positive impact on our lives and if we can incorporate these important qualities, our friendships should flourish. Nothing is better than recalling those lifetime memories of grooving on the dance floor in our early twenties, to sitting shoulder to shoulder through our golden years― and of course… reminiscing about the good ol’ days.
Written by Beverley Miles

Challenges are regular visitors in our life, and nobody is immune to them. They can either make you lose hope, and even give up, or we can use these challenges to make positive changes in our life.

For instance:

Develop your passion

Having a passion for something, will motivate you towards achieving your goals. When setting your goals, you always want to be passionate about those goals, because if you love what you do, you will be driven by the desire to achieve success. This will go a long way towards reaching your dreams.

Believe in yourself

To believe in yourself is a prerequisite for success. When you have doubts, or negative feelings about yourself, you are sabotaging your progress. Instead you want to see yourself as a winner, and believe in yourself. Feeding your mind with positives, will reinforce your beliefs, and sweep any doubts out of your system.

Track your progress.

It is important that you take note of every improvement you make. This will motivate you to work even harder. Every step forward will give you a boost, and accelerate your efforts to the achievement of your ultimate goal. Learn how to control your emotions. It is important that you use your emotional intelligence, when you encounter problems in your life. You are a product of your thoughts and feelings, and any negative emotions that crop up, can negate the positive forward movement you enjoyed earlier. Approach any challenge with a positive outlook, which will help toward a quick, and positive resolution. You have all the tools you need, in order to make positive changes in your life. The potential for your life is absolutely staggering. The possibilities in front of you go way beyond anything you ever dreamed of. And the best part is, you are in control. It is in your hands to make the changes necessary, to take your life to new heights.

This statement is a perfect description about friendship. While all friends can buy you drinks, drive you home, and/or spoil you in any other way, only the best of them will help you to realize the awesome potential within you. It is only the best among them that can push you to achieve you full potential. It is only the best friend, who is able to give you the confidence to see your capabilities, and help you harness them, in order to set, and reach your lofty goals. It is not surprising, that such an expressive quote came from Henry Ford. Henry Ford is a legend in the automotive industry. The companies he set up continue to thrive, and are enjoying exponential growth. He himself was a remarkable success. To be, where he was, he must have experienced the upsides of many good friendships. Good friends, who spurred him on to become the success as we know it.

As you might have realized already, the path to success is often paved with frustrations and discouragements. Best friends come in, when you experience bout after bout of disappointments. They help you see the big picture, and encourage you to rise from momentary failures, and feelings of disillusionment. True friends will always be there when you need them. The best friendships begin when one person chooses to give unconditionally, when a person chooses to care. It is true, you will often come across individuals, who are ever ready to receive whatever you choose to give, without necessarily giving much back, if anything at all.

Article Sources:

http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Victor_K_Chukwuemeka/1437898

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